those days make my life as who i am now

you can hide, you can just run as far as you can
you can say whatever you want
you can do things that you like
but just to remind you this:

this is me.
this is my way of life.
i am staying no matter what
i will stick to every decision that i've made.
and for sure there is no turning back
you cant stop myself from being me.
you just cant change it like the way you want it to be
because as everything that just happen,
can you just consider it as a FATE?

i might have made a few wrong steps
i maybe done some mistakes.
and i might lost few things that i treasure
yes, those memories will not change anything.
i cant let these ruining all the healthy culture that im going through right now.
i dont wanna lose this, the thing that i have planned for myself and yes my future.



why must remisnisce?


if going through the past just put me in pain
if turning back make me stop thinking of the future.
i am not going backwards
i am trying to make more steps of achieving those in forwards
as at the moment i know the situation is tough and hard for me to live with smile
with all the things that keep coming
with all the works that require my brain to always function
with all the time that make me stress
and with the biggest thing that leave me a big impact just still come undone

i will always need him
i will always need them
even if the situation hit me to the ground
i cant bear of losing all these people
am i self-centered?
am i being selfish?
or just another hypocrite around the corner?
it is not me to judge
and i dont want to listen the answer from you
i want it to be hanging
and let the situation just change like they want it to be

those days just past and i hate being part of it
those days make me think that i am special
those days hit me as im the lucky one
those days remind me of how i hate you to leave me when you have to go after only 6 years i step myself in this cruel world.
and those days make my life as what i am now.